Part of the Plan?

After arriving home from the doctor's office, I was so completely exhausted and heartbroken that my body was beginning to shut itself down.  But before drifting asleep, all I longed for was to be held by my husband and to pray together.  I headed upstairs to our bedroom shortly after we arrived and utilized my limited supply of remaining energy to change into more comfortable clothes and crawl into bed.

Not long after, my husband laid down beside me and wrapped his arms around me.  We cried together then he prayed:  "...I know You didn't want our baby to die.  That wasn't part of Your plan..."  In that moment my husband communicated what was in my heart.  I knew that death was never really part of God's original plan, but instead a consequence that followed sin (Romans 5:12, Holy Bible, NIV).

I desperately needed to remember that this was not part of God's original plan because I hated going through this and didn't understand why things had happened this way.  Knowing that God didn't want our baby to die allowed me to imagine Him holding me and crying with me - just like my best friend would, just as my husband did.  2 Kings 20:5 (Holy Bible, NIV) states, "...I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you..."  He hears my prayer.  He sees my tears.  He will heal me.  To know that God hears me, sees me, and promises to heal me has brought me much comfort in my grief.

It's not easy to make sense of my faith in the midst of grief, but in all honesty it's not easy to make sense of anything in the midst of grief.  Life doesn't make sense and everything seems to change, including you and me.  But there is One who never changes (Malachi 3:6, Holy Bible, NIV) and He continues to remind me of His Truth and provides the strength and encouragement I need to sojourn on.  And because He loves you, He can give you those things as well.  I don't know if it will come as a verse in the Bible, a conversation with a friend, or a song on the radio, but it will come.  He hears your prayer.  He sees your tears.  He will heal you.  And that's a promise.