September brought joy and excitement once again with the news of our second pregnancy, but it resulted in loosing our second baby in October when I was just shy of 8 weeks along. These experiences have brought much heartache, grief, questions, disappointment, anxiety, and fear. However, our story does not stop there. God has also brought healing, new found hope, growth, maturity, and an increased awareness of His love and comfort. They didn't come easily, but they came and they continue to.
Today I am full of thankfulness for a fresh start and a new beginning. I am thankful we no longer have to be plagued by the year 2012. Even though some of the wounds still remain, just the thought of a new year brings hope and possibility once again. It does not erase the pain of last year, but it brings the possibility that this year could be different, better. I realize that what this year holds is completely out of my control - I learned the hard way last year that very little is actually in my control - but I just love having a new beginning.
I hope that no matter what this year holds, my love, faith, and trust in God will continue to grow. I hope my love for my husband and our marriage will continue to grow and mature, and that I will frequently exercise gratitude for the time we have to share our lives together. I hope that the wounds in my heart will continue to heal. In raw honesty, I hope that we will experience the joy and excitement of conception and that we will hold our own baby in our arms. And although I know there are many factors and things I cannot control, I will continue to hope. And in addition to hope, I will also hold tightly to God's love and trustworthiness no matter what our circumstances may be.
It feels so good to have renewed hope and possibilities, and for this moment I choose to simply enjoy these gifts and let go of everything else.
I hope that no matter what this year holds, my love, faith, and trust in God will continue to grow. I hope my love for my husband and our marriage will continue to grow and mature, and that I will frequently exercise gratitude for the time we have to share our lives together. I hope that the wounds in my heart will continue to heal. In raw honesty, I hope that we will experience the joy and excitement of conception and that we will hold our own baby in our arms. And although I know there are many factors and things I cannot control, I will continue to hope. And in addition to hope, I will also hold tightly to God's love and trustworthiness no matter what our circumstances may be.
It feels so good to have renewed hope and possibilities, and for this moment I choose to simply enjoy these gifts and let go of everything else.
Much love and hugs and prayers for you continue thru this year!
ReplyDeleteJen S.
Thank you for your love and prayers...They are greatly appreciated!
DeleteMy heart goes out anyone who has lost a child in any capacity, and my condolences to you. My best friend and my sister-in-law each have miscarried multiple times and my heart breaks for them because all they’ve ever wanted was to have a baby and be mothers. Each time it happened, I always fought to find the words to comfort them, until one of my friends told me about a book to get them. It’s called “There Was Supposed To Be a Baby” by Catherine Keating, you can check her and the book on the website http://therewassupposedtobe.com/. I’ve given this book to each of them as a gift and both have said what a wonderful book and comfort it was to them. Thank you for this post, and I pray that you are able to find peace!
ReplyDeleteLacey, thank you for reading and sharing. Thank you also for the book recommendation; I will definitely check it out. Thank you for your prayers as well, we are so grateful.
DeleteI too have had multiple losses & 2012 wasn't a good year with two losses myself so I know where your coming from & what your going through. It scares me all the time to think about losing another child. I have a 3 year old & she is my blessing baby. She was a fighter, a strong one! When the time is right you will receive you're blessing baby too. Always keep your head up & remember anything us possible!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear about your losses as well. It's always comforting to find others who understand what you're going through. The thought of loosing another child is extremely frightening, but I know the risk of trying again is worth it. I do hope that we will be blessed with our "blessing baby". Thanks for your encouragement and support. My thoughts and prayers go out to you in your journey.
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